I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
