Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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