That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
