i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
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