I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
