I met the friendliest cop last night
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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