that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
