i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Semen is not good for contacts.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
