it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
