yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
