.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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