..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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