I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
