I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
