Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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