You're so nebulous sometimes
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
