I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
