WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
