whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
