Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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