no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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