I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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