fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It was confusing and full of hummus
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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