I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
