Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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