Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
