At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
