He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
