I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i've created a new STD.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
