Ambien. No doubt about it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
