my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
