no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
