how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
