There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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