ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
