please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
