At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
