Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
