I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
