Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
