Is it because I queefed?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
