We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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