those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
