Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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