Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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