areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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