Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
