You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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