Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
