Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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